if i ever get divorced i’ll never have my children play political wars with their parents.  its ruthless and unnecessary.  if you can’t afford to have kids don’t have them.  or don’t spend money on things you don’t need.  and especially don’t lecture your kids on spending money on things they don’t need when you are buying shit you really don’t need. 

transparency is necessary. 

a)  “i’m broke and can’t afford anything.”
b) “i’m sorry but the person you have called in is europe.”
c)  “oh hey, i’m on my car phone.  yep, just bought a cadillac.”

can’t wait until i have kids. 

i only keep high school friends on facebook as a way to pat myself on the back.  there are probably two exemptions.  first, my firend joe.  he plays music and lives in st charles.  i hang out with him every now and then and he really enjoys what he is doing.  and he is making it.  the other is -maybe- my friend aj.  he really diggs his g/f / soon to be wife.  i really dug her at first, as well. *however* i went home for a week [the last time i’m ever going back] and she ran him over (with a car).  it was insane.  i’m really worried he will get married too soon and regret it/divorce/etc.  but i’m going to keep my mouth shut with that situation because [believe it or not] i think he is in the most sustainable relationship in cape county.

this is where it gets insane.

i mostly keep other close friends just out of a self-sustaining pity party for myself.  they’re dating girls that haven’t even graduated high school.  in less than a year and a half i’ll graduate from UNIVERSITY [which isn’t even that hard/expensive] and put down money on a condo on the east/west [non-fly over state coast] and they’ll still be stuck out in the middle of nowhere.  their reaction is calling me ‘pretentious’  but i mean, come the fuck on.  i’m not pretentious.  i just got the fuck out and i’m doing something with my life other than working [or not working] at the cape g.  old navy and fucking with high school girls and trying to graduate from a state uni.  its fucking hilarious.  they talk about things like they know about it.  you have never been to a music festival.  i have been to several.  you did not buy tickets to see queen + the early november [freddie mercury is dead and EN called it quits 3-4 years ago].  you are so full of it.  you were back then, and you are now as well.

i need to stop drinking.  making fun of people that are going nowhere with their lives is is so easy/fun/’pretentious’/hxcorex/capecounty/1:20am.

but seriously all i have to say is ‘whassssssuppp.  i’m graduating soon.  what the fuck are you up to?’

“not too much” ?

every time i see someone on facebook from cape complaining about being bored i just want to shoot myself.  or them out of self-pity.  i would much rather shoot myself in the head then go back there for any reason what.so.ever.

haven’t really updated with a text post in about a month.  whoops.

guess i utilized tumblr mostly at work.  i don’t work anymore … haven’t since mid-january.  i’ve [srzly] been looking but nothing is coming my way.  i see it as a blessing.  as a result of this … i drink less, don’t really smoke ciggzzz, and have been given ample amounts of timmy time.  i’ve rediscovered my love for fresh produce, going to class, studying, working out, being with friends that i haven’t seen in awhile, volunteering, watching netflix to the nth degree, and have learned a lot about myself.  i used to spend money wildly on unnecessary thingies.  i was stupid.

the only negative is that my spring break will have to be less/not decadent.  i was hoping to go to north carolina and working with tigers and ocelots, but it costs money to do that (yes, it costs money to volunteer, even through mizzou programs …).  nyc plans were dismantled due to financial logic.  SP will still be fun though, as long as i’m with peeps i like [roomie is staying so that is a +).

of course, a lot of social situations have exploded [thankfully] during my unemployment.  personal things, family things, relationships with friends.  sometimes i feel as if everything is crumbling around me.  however, i’m very good with a denial face [i occasionally fool myself].  but everything should be ironed out soon.

signed up for classes.  matt fox will be my new roomie/roommate/pad sharer.  last year i hadn’t signed up for classes until like may and didn’t sign a lease until April Fool’s Day.  got it in ‘da bag’.  however, this time last year i did have spare change and bought memorable things [U2 ticket that led to one of my favorite weekend in chi city].  really miss my chi campadres.  thats prob the only downside of being broke, the whole traveling ‘situation’.

however,

all is
welll :))))

<3tim